palmstraps: (In the rain)
Niles Pottinger ([personal profile] palmstraps) wrote 2015-06-17 11:10 pm (UTC)

Niles leaned slowly back against Gabe, trying to imagine those arms belonged to someone else. Someone he hasn't even spoken to in years. The one who should have been in Niles' place, who had been the one to open the way for the Republic into Defiance. If Connor hadn't been killed, he would be the provisional mayor. Not Niles. Niles only got the position because of his manipulation to get himself stationed in the same place as Connor. After so many years, they would have finally crossed paths again. They could have worked together and found what they'd never had.

But there was nothing he could do to change who those arms belonged to.

It wasn't until a tear fell on the box, just barely missing the lock of hair, that he realized Gabe wasn't the only one crying. He took a slow breath, but the tears wouldn't stop.

"You knew him so well. He barely knew I existed..." He wanted to try to say that his grief was unwarranted compared to Gabe's. Gabe and Connor were so much closer and Niles and Connor ever would have been. But he can't dismiss the weight in his chest.

The loss of what could have been.

He lets go of the box with one hand, reaching up to grasp one of the arms around him. Not to pull it away, but to grip it tighter. Not wanting to be let go.

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