Each word sent cracks through the new foundation Niles had found. Each statement a crushing blow to what was supposed to be unbreakable stone. He could feel those words creeping in, digging under his resistance. Icy fingers that made him long for warmth, which he could only find in Gabe. Because Gabe was right. He didn't want a word without him. But he needed it. He needed to live his own life, without the influence of someone who was--just someone who shouldn't be there.

No, Niles. You can't shy away from it. Face it. That's the only way to get rid of him. But trying to force his mind to what he knew was like trying to walk over ice. He couldn't get traction, he couldn't get his mind to hold the truth.

"Not her," he said through clenched teeth, closing his eyes and pressing his head back against the pillow. "You." He squeezed his eyes tighter, trying to will Gabe out of his life. "I won't let you use me." Saying it made him sick to his stomach, but he forced out each word.